It made me miss my dad and feel closer than ever to him at the same time. But I wasn't really sad.
I bought a lil chocolate cupcake to celebrate his birthday and sat on the grass of some pretty private property and watched the sun disappear behind the moon through the glass of a welding mask.
My dad used to be a welder. I wouldn't have watched it any other way.
I loved more than I can say that he Eclipse happened on the morning of his birthday.
I'm lucky enough that I've been alive for two Solar Eclipses now and the first one is one of my most vivid memories of him; standing in the garden next to him and my mother and my baby sister peering through the welding mask that felt so huge on my childlike head.
It's been over two year now since he died and it still feels strange sometimes. I don't think I'll ever get totally used to it, but I cling to moments like this that bring me happy nostalgia.
I love you dad. Happy birthday.
when the eclipse was happening, i so didn't know until it like passed.
ReplyDelete"But I wasn't really sad." i'm really glad for that. i always say stuff like when someone you deeply love passes away (may God bless his soul) that you should celebrate the memories that they gave you and remember them for all the good they did for you. i think remembering them is a gift. i know that it's a very sensitive subject, so i hope that it's okay and that i didn't offend you in any way.
your writing is very beautiful. i felt close to him too almost, just by hearing you write it. i think he must've been a great, wonderful man.
"I don't think I'll ever get totally used to it, but I cling to moments like this that bring me happy nostalgia." i don't think anyone ever gets used to someone not being there. whenever i visit my grandfather's house, i always imagine my grandmother just going to walk down. i could hear her earrings make that sound (she used to wear dozens of them, they used to clink like bangles would if you wore them).
don't you feel like it's strange to say that it's been two years? i feel like it's that way for me. i feel like that's the thing about someone dying too. it's been years since she died, but i still remember her like i've just seen her yesterday. that's a wonderful thing too.
i love you.
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don't blame the ice-cream on me! what kind have you been having? <3 also, i just want to tell you that the cuddling and being with your friend and eating ice-cream sounds pretty bloody perfect.
"you always make my day when I see youve written something" i hope it's true this time too! death and dealing with a death is such a sensitive hard subject... i feel like even though it's the most natural thing, even though you know that it happens, when it does, it just feels... weird. and it's hard to explain. and it's hard to say that i love you and i'm sad that you had to endure this in the first place. but i'm glad for moments like these too. you deserve this happy nostalgia.
i think you're incredible.
- Sam Lupin