Saturday 14 October 2017

I had, such a lovely lovely day yesterday.

I just remember it and I'm smiling so much.
You know when you remember a time nostalgically, but it's a GOOD nostalgia, because somehow you get to feel exactly how nice and happy you did back then.
Agh
I love this

So a few years ago I was going through something quite bad. A lot of actual anxiety and depression and unhealthy eating (or lack of) to top that off I was in the middle of a long distance, and very toxic relationship that I wasn't quite aware I didn't deserve and that I didn't quite know how to get out of.

Back then I was very in to tumblr, and very into blogging and was much more active in all those platforms too, so I remember it being a very quiet time in my life. I lived in an apartment in Spain but away from home, I had my own little room I barely left, and I loved when I was able to just stay in on my laptop binge watching series (can you relate?)

So i get how this doesn't really sound all that happy but bear with me.

I made a friend online, via tumblr, He helped me so much in ways he doesn't even realize I think.
Just the mere fact of making this new friend threw in to very sharp relief exactly how toxic and controlling my relationship was, because of how violently my ex reacted to me making a friend, and tried to guilt me in to stop talking with him.
We clicked and connected very quickly, he came in to my life just when I needed  him (don't tell him that - but he very much became my best friend)

He was there, emailing back and forth, helping me through every fight, every depressive episode, and every good day too. We talked constantly and he introduced me to his boyfriend and I became super close friends with him too.

And then he showed me this book he'd written a while back, asking me for feedback and I fell in LOVE with his characters, omg.

To the point where he'd whip up a chapter of a fragment of story just for me when I was feeling down, just to cheer me up and it would work.

Agh I remember he skyped me the night I broke it off with my ex and we just chatted all night, we watched a movie over shared screen and he showed me what he was practicing on his guitar.

This is getting fairly long, but I promise I'm almost finished.

We drifted apart a little once I moved to the states , and I think a little before that really, but they never, not once gave up on me. Both of them would check in now and then even if i was busy being too busy for my friends.

Last night though it felt like our friendship snapped right back in to that closeness we had back then when he was helping me through it all without even meaning to.

We rediscovered that book and started talking about it for h o u r s and it just made me so. happy.

We talked to much it was about 7am his time before he passed out and tHEN I skyped with his boyfreind and it was like nothing had changed.

These are my boys and I love them to pieces, and I hope they know how much I value them.

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